In the current eleventh grade class of The Columbus School, which includes 117 students, seven left school at some point; among all of their reasons the one they all had in common: not fitting in.

TCS teachers and staff are used to comparing the bullying witnessed and that their students complain about with the bullying that is happening in American schools, but not having as many physical abuses as others schools doesn’t mean that bullying is a non existing issue at The Columbus School and to be able to fight it it has to stop being denied.

What is bullying?

“Abuse and mistreatment of someone vulnerable by someone stronger, more powerful, etc.” Publisher: Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Often people believe that bullying is only an aggression that presents itself as physical abuse which can be easily spotted due to how brutal it is. This idea is mostly taken by closed minded adults that watch movies inspired in American schools and the bullying they suffer. These films show the typical cases of mistreatment excluding the other thousands ways bullying is displayed in reality.

“According to one large study, the following percentages of middle schools students had experienced these various types of bullying: name calling (44.2 %); teasing (43.3 %); spreading rumors or lies (36.3%); pushing or shoving (32.4%); hitting, slapping, or kicking (29.2%); leaving out (28.5%); threatening (27.4%); stealing belongings (27.3%); sexual comments or gestures (23.7%); e-mail or blogging (9.9%),” it is stated in www.stopbullying.gov.   Generally bullying is confused with conflicts between friends or classmates, but who can hurt you  the most than someone close to you, someone whose opinion is important to you.

Types of Bullying

“People started laughing at me everyday, and they started criticizing my looks. They told me my hair was ugly, that my forehead was too big and that I had an ugly face,” said an TCS eighth grade student, who wishes to remain anonymous.

Abusing someone verbally is another form of bullying; many times these verbal offenders or  bullies get away with it using the excuse that they were “just being brutally honest because that’s the way they were raised.” This way they shield themselves and influence adults to believe that there was never any aggression.

“They all got together for a sleepover I wasn’t invited to, they started writing to me all kinds of rude messages such as: ‘You are not as pretty as you think you are,’   ‘You are foolish to think you have any friends,’ or  the one that hurt the most ,’You aren’t worth it,’ ” said a TCS eleventh grader, who also wishes to remain anonymous.

Bullying now a days doesn’t end when the school day does; social media has created multiple windows and opportunities for bullies to continue their abuse by being able to bully someone any time they feel like it. Cyberbullying is a more complex situation due to how hard it is to control it out of school without the help of someone from the bully’s home.

“I left school because I felt the environment was very harsh socially and I was left with no friends… but the moment I snapped and realized I had to leave was when I asked someone if I could sit with them at lunch and she gave me the lame excuse that I had to ask everyone else first,” said former TCS student.

Exclusion is not often seen as a form of bullying, but the fact is that someone who has more power to influence others is using it to leave someone else out. This form is the one mostly mistaken for just a conflict between friends but being excluded from a group of people and left alone is just as much bullying as any other type of harassment.  

Steps Taken Against Bullying

The school has a goal to end bullying or reduce it as much as possible but the first step  is to acknowledge that this is a current issue in the TCS community. There should be no comparison made between the type of bullying that takes place in our school with the ones other students suffer in others, each case has to be given the attention it deserves.

The school claims the first step is when a complaint is received that indicates someone is suffering from bullying this comes in behalf of anyone who has witnessed the harassment or the victim itself. Then both the victim and the bully in question write their version of the story which turns into step three of the process where the school now has to present a verdict.  

Usually as the TCS High School Vice Principal Vicki Jaramillo stated, “There is a way to end this process in step four when the case is presented to a board that includes the high school counselors, principal and  vice principal. This board decides if the transgression is qualified as bullying or a conflict between classmates.” If the verdict states that it’s just a conflict or misunderstanding then the process ends, and the only punishment for the “aggressor” is a reflection.

If the decision is however,  that the abuse is considered bullying, then there are more steps to follow which include more meetings with directives and the school board to decide disciplinary measures against the bully. This doesn’t happen very often due to the difficulty of adults to perceive aggressions, to understand how victims feel and how bullies lie to avoid consequences.

TCS has taken more measures to ensure that students have a safer space to talk to someone about their issues at school or events that are troubling them. This is why there is a now a second counselor for middle school students, giving them more opportunities to receive help as there is in highs school.